Pink and Ice
by Kitty in the Box
Summary: UPDATED! Another treat from the Kitty in the Box after so long. Shuichi is off on a national tour. Pressure and distance takes its toll. Just when Yuki makes the effort to reach his beloved, neither one is prepared for a disaster waiting to happen.
1. Good Morning Yuki

**Disclaimer: Gravitation and its characters belong to Maki Murakami. The only thing I own is the content of this story. Please don't sue me unless you want to go more broke than I already am. I also dedicate this fic to my saviour who saved my In The End fic which I will be uploading very soon. But till then...enjoy this fic for now...**

**MORNING. BEDROOM.**

Yuki wakes up to the sound of the alarm clock. He moves out of bed and enters the bathroom. Shuichi wakes up with a smile and tip toes to the cabinet and pulls out a big pink wrapped gift box. Today is a special day; he places the box on the bed and sits beside it while waiting for Yuki get out of the bathroom.

Flush.

Yuki is still half asleep and drags himself back to the bed. He is greeted with a wide toothy grin from Shuichi. He frowns and scratches his chest.

A pink box.

_What the hell?_

"OHAYO, YUKI!"

"Nghh.."

"Yuki! I want you to open this! C'mon open it! Open it! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" Shuichi excitedly drums the gift box and pushes it to Yuki.

Yuki frowns even more and merely stares at the gift box.

"You better make sure this is not one of your stupid childish pranks again. I'm not in the mood!" Yuki warns him.

"I swear Yuki! You'll love it!" Shuichi still smiling and is now clapping.

_Che! The idiot is really excited._

He pulls the box and painstakingly unwraps the box. Shuichi was practically bouncing on the bed and quickly begins to pull the pink ribbon and paper.

Yuki's eyes rounded. He gulped.

Inside the box contained a fur-lined black scarf. He couldn't believe it was the very scarf he had his eyes on when he went to London last month. That was not all, it also contained a personalized leather cigarette case and a deep reddish brown leather trench coat.

Yuki was speechless. Shuichi was grinning from ear to ear and his eyes were bubbly with tears. Yuki always had that face when he was very pleased about something.

"You like it?"

Yuki could only manage a nod. He still could not believe the presents he just received.

But Yuki was even more surprised upon seeing Shuichi closing his eyes with his arms outstretched and giggling.

"Now what?" Yuki smirked.

"Where's mine?"

"What's yours?"

"Aw! Yuki don't be such meanie! I've been really good and THAT is not a prank, huh!" Shuichi pouted cutely but still maintaining his arms outstretched.

"You mean you're expecting something in return?"

"YES! IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY!" Shuichi declared enthusiastically.

_Oh god._

_What the hell?_

He leaves the bedroom with Shuichi still with his eyes closed and arms outstretched and giggling.

The door shuts. Only then Shuichi opens his eyes and drops his arms. He bites his lip and smiles weakly as he stares at the present.

"Happy anniversary, Yuki." He whispers and slowly moves out of the bed. He enters the bathroom and takes a very cold shower.

Since getting out of the bedroom, Yuki has entered his study and pacing back and forth. He turns on his laptop and quickly grabs a cigarette from the drawer and lights it. He watches the door of his study wondering what would be his next move or better yet, Shuichi's.

An hour has passed. Yuki hears a soft knocking from the door. He braces himself as he expects Shuichi to burst inside and whine.

Silence.

The next thing he heard was the main door closing. Shuichi has left.

**NG RECORDING STUDIO.**

Shuichi enters the technician's booth and reads lyric sheets for their next album.

"Ohayo!"

"Hiro!" Shuichi raises his head in acknowledgement.

"Oi! Oi! Are you going to read all that with your shades on?" Hiro raises an eyebrow.

"You look good, Hiro!"

"That's not the issue here." Hiro frowns. Well, he did have a new look. He has cut his long red hair to his shoulders with blonde highlights to accentuate it.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere today?"

"Where's K-san and Sakano-san?"

"They'll be in later. Now about my question?" Hiro takes a seat beside him.

"Weird, isn't it? Today is my anniversary and I am spending it here with you." Shuichi shrugs.

"Does that explain the shades too?"

"I have sore eyes, hehe..."

"Fujisaki will be back this Friday so I guess that leaves the two of us to do some work for now."

"Yeah."

"And Shu..."

"Hmmm..."

"Wanna go to the beach house with me?"

"Sure!" Shuichi replied happily.

**BEACH HOUSE.**

"Waaaiii! We're going fishing, Hiro!"

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that!" Hiro smiles as he follows Shuichi to his yacht.

"I LOVE FISHING!" Shuichi squealed.

**SEVERAL HOURS LATER.**

"Shuichi...you okay, buddy?" He notices Shuichi's glum countenance with the fishing rod and staring off to the sea. He hasn't caught a fish since.

"Daijobu."

"Okay."

"Ne, Hiro..."

"What is it?"

"Hiro, you think if I have never met Yuki in my life, do you think life would have been easier?"

"HELL! A LOT EASIER!"

"The truth, Hiro."

"I dunno, Shu...I've never seen you cry this much over someone before and madly inlove over someone as you are with him." Hiro looks at him.

Shuichi wipes a tear but still staring at the sea.

"You think...anou...maybe things would have been...ahm...a lot easier if we ended up together instead?"

"You're joking, huh?" Hiro swallows hard and quickly looks away from Shuichi and nearly falls from his seat.

"No, I'm not. I never joke about stuff like this, you know that."

The two friends share a heavy silence with only the sound of the waters is heard and the wind blowing.

Hiro carefully secures his fishing rod and walks towards Shuichi. He lays a hand on Shuichi's shoulder and leans towards him.

"I guess, we'll have to check it out then..." and they are now face to face. He gently lifts Shuichi's chin and they kiss. Shuichi drops the fishing rod and wraps his arms around Hiro's neck.

The kiss did not last long. Hiro breaks the kiss and touches Shuichi's tear-stained cheeks.

"I know, Shu...I know..." Hiro smiles sadly.

**HIRO'S RESIDENCE.**

"You sure you're gonna be alright?" Hiro looks at Shuichi who has been staring blankly since they returned.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Shuichi nods.

He pulls Shuichi to him and they share a warm embrace. Shuichi buries his face on Hiro's jacket and clutches his jacket. Hiro kisses him on the forehead and smiles.

"Don't worry okay. For all you know he might have something really special for you after all."

"I don't know. I don't like to whine anymore. I have even ceased to remind him of such things because he finds it terribly annoying. Besides, if you really cared, you wouldn't forget."

"You have a point but let's see what happens, okay? Call me if you need anything."

Shuichi enters his car. "Hiro...about the thing...in the yacht...ahm..."

"Don't worry about it." Hiro squeezes Shuichi's shoulder in assurance. Shuichi holds his hand and looks at him.

"Thank you for everything."

"No problem." Shuichi releases his hand and slowly lifts the tinted car window and drives off. Hiro waves from behind.

**PARKING BASEMENT TO YUKI'S RESIDENCE.**

Shuichi contemplates whether he should go up to the unit or not. Too emotional to even stir, he closes his eyes and goes to sleep inside the car.

**NEXT MORNING.**

Yuki wakes up alone in bed. He walks out of the bedroom and finds he is still alone in the house. He was about to call Seguchi or Hiro but hesitated. He decided he would fetch Shuichi from NG Studios instead.

He takes a quick shower and a cup of coffee. He smiled and put on his new trench coat. Shuichi would be thrilled seeing him wear it. He shoves his car keys in his pocket and exits the unit.

As he walks to the parking basement, he notices Shuichi's car. He frowns and walks towards it. He peers inside and notices Shuichi curled up at the backseat.

"Anou, baka!" Yuki panicked and began to tap noisily at the car window.

Shuichi rubs his eyes and sits and looks at the window seeing Yuki mouthing, 'OPEN THE DOOR!' He moves towards the driver's seat but instead of opening the door, he turns on the ignition and starts the car.

'WHAT THE! OPEN THE DOOR, SHUICHI!" Yuki was aghast.

Shuichi avoids his face and the tapping and begins to move the car. Yuki backs up and stares as the car speeds away. He enters his car and follows him.

Yuki's car follows him closely and drives beside Shuichi's car. He honks and pulls down the car window and yells at Shuichi to stop.

Shuichi looks at him sadly and pulls over to a corner.

Yuki quickly gets out of the car as Shuichi opens the door. Shuichi merely sits inside and puts his feet on the ground and covers his face, trying to avoid Yuki's glare.

"What the hell were you thinking? You didn't call last night. Okay, I know you were at NG. But you could have at least informed me you were not coming home. And whatever possessed you to sleep in the car the whole night? Why didn't you come up? Do you know how cold is it out here? Are you still pissed about that morning? Heck! Shuichi! I was really..." Yuki was cut short.

"SHUT UP!" Shuichi covers his ears and lowers his face to his lap. Yuki clammed shut. This was the very first time in all their time together Shuichi ever asked him to shut up. This was usually his line but being told to shut up actually hurt, he realized. All he could do was stare at him and stunned at Shuichi's outburst.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME! I'll be having a national concert tour a week from now. We've been doing nonstop promotions. I have to attend a press con tomorrow. Maiko will be graduating this week and I have to be there. I'll be attending a meeting at NG on Friday after which Sakuma-san and I will be guests at an evening talk show. Fujisaki will be arriving from Singapore on Saturday and he will be proceeding to NG and the band will be having another meeting. And that morning...all I wanted...was just...I wanted to just be with you..." Shuichi broke down in tears and covered his face.

Yuki motioned him inside the car. "Shuichi, we have to go back...we'll talk properly, okay?"

Shuichi nods and they both drive back to the unit.

**CONDOMINIUM.**

Yuki takes off his coat and shoes and helps Shuichi off his jacket only to be ignored. He sits on the couch.

Yuki enters their bedroom and takes out a blanket and sits beside him on the couch.

"Shuichi...you're..."

"No. Yeah. Weird, huh? You forget and I am embarrassed. I acted like a hyperactive doink to you and expecting something in return like the dolt I am! All I wanted was time to freeze over and be with you on our anniversary." Shuichi sniffs.

Yuki realizes Shuichi was at a breaking point. He could feel his world was running him over. He pulls Shuichi to his arms and covers him with a blanket. Shuichi was shivering.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Gods! I am so sorry." He begins to kiss his cheeks, nose, his quivering lips and pink hair. Shuichi closes his eyes but the tears keep falling. He could barely put his arms around Yuki. He pulls the sobbing younger man on his lap and cradles him protectively. All Shuichi could do was put his hands to his face.

"Shuichi...you know that I..." But Shuichi merely shakes his head tiredly. He did not want to listen to his explanation. Yuki did not like to aggravate the situation anymore. It was futile. The damage has been done.

They spent the entire day cuddling. But it was more like Yuki doing it than Shuichi. Sometimes he would turn on the television and Shuichi would stare at it blankly. The blankness disturbed Yuki. He would turn on the music and Shuichi would simply fall asleep on the couch. While he was sleeping, Yuki took the time to fix dinner for both of them. He thought about working on a draft for his book soon when things were not this weird anymore.

It was a simple dish really. Curry rice. A small Caesar salad. Strawberry on ice for dessert. Two cans of chilled strawberry iced tea in the fridge. This was not the time to drink anything alcoholic for both of them. Deep inside he wished Shuichi would not sleep too much or too soon. He wanted to hear his chatter. The house was silent as a tomb and he was visibly annoyed.

He approached the couch and gently shook the pink-haired man. Shuichi stirred and turned to look at him.

"What is it?" Yuki smiled that Shuichi said something.

"Dinner's ready."

"Okay."

He helped him up the couch and walked ahead towards the kitchen. Shuichi's eyes rounded at the sight of the strawberry on ice and the curry rice on the table. He looked at Yuki's hopeful gaze. He swallowed.

"I'll just go and brush my teeth."

Shuichi brushed his teeth vigorously. He splashed cold water onto his face. He stared hard at the mirror. His eyes were still a bit swollen from his tears but at least his head was not that heavy anymore. He had a good sleep nonetheless and he hoped he would be all right now. He was touched at the gesture Yuki did. He forgave him already since the time Yuki chased him in the car. He could see how scared he was. The regret was all over his face. But he was too emotional and too tired to make Yuki realize that he has forgiven him already. He inhaled deeply. Wiped his face and brushed his hair. He changed into another shirt. A deep pink shirt with a big white S and a smiley on the front. It was a gift from a fan a year ago and he liked it. Maybe this would lighten the mood somehow, he thought.

He entered the dining room but this time the lights were off. A single candlelight illuminated the place. He felt tingly all over. There was Yuki with his fingers criss crossed together tucked under his chin. He looked very serious and handsome at the same time.

"Yuki…I think my shirt looks so not fitting for the mood." He smiled awkwardly and scratched his head.

"You look perfect. Come here." Yuki smiled and gestured to his seat at the other end of the table.

They shared a quiet yet comforting dinner together. Each one gazing at the other lovingly. Exchanging smiles at a time. Yuki chuckled looking at Shuichi giving each strawberry on ice the "perfect bite".

They finished dinner but Yuki shooed Shuichi to living room when he insisted he would do the dishes. Yuki felt he needed to do everything for him. He wanted it to be special.

**Thank you so much for reading...please review...I love to know what you think. You are the BEST READERS a writer could ever have! hugs**


	2. Are we okay now?

Things were slowly going back to normal in the Yuki and Shuichi household. Shuichi have been attending nonstop promotions and meetings the whole week before the scheduled departure for the national tour. Yuki has began laboring on his drafts and working on his normally erratic schedule. Sometimes Shuichi did not come home but he always called Yuki to let him know where he was. Yuki did not want to state the obvious but he could hardly sleep himself without the pink haired bundle of joy beside him but he was worried that Shuichi was hardly getting enough sleep since he would leave messages at such unholy hours.

Today was different. Shuichi was home the whole day. Two days from now Shuichi was going to be leaving for the tour. This time Yuki barely slept. He tried to be productive by working on the first chapter of his book but he could not keep himself rooted to his office as he would check on Shuichi every now and then to see if he was all right. Shuichi was asleep most of the time and Yuki did not have the heart to wake him up much as he wanted to and would end up reheating his food just in case he would get up. Shuichi slept for hours. He was obviously exhausted and fatigued. This made Yuki's forehead twitch. He already called Touma and K and gave a piece of his mind to both of them regarding Shuichi's condition.

**7:00 p.m.**

Yuki was now almost at the end of chapter one when he heard a faint sound from the living room. He saved his work and squished his cigarette on the ashtray and stoop up. Shuichi was no longer in the bedroom. He wasn't in the living room either. Bathroom? No. Then he heard some noise coming from the kitchen and he pushed the door a bit to take a peak.

Shuichi with his pink hair in total disarray. He was scratching his oversized D&G shirt and sat on the dining room chair with his legs swinging. He then slumped on the table and rhythmically tapping the table.

"Oi!"

Shuichi sat upright and turned to look at Yuki who was smirking at him. He managed a sleepy smile back at him.

"I'm hungry." He pointed at the stovetop with the small casserole heated on low fire.

"Have you eaten, Yuki?"

"Yes and no." Yuki took a seat.

"Let's eat then." Shuichi turned off the stove and began to set the table.

"How are you feeling?" Yuki looked at him as he put his drinking glass down.

"I'm okay, I think." Shuichi was obviously starved as he added more rice to his bowl.

Yuki had finished his meal and Shuichi was still eating. He stood up and took a canned beer and drank slowly as he watched Shuichi stuffing himself and was too hungry for chatter.

**Two hours later.**

A loud burp.

Shuichi's cheeks were blushed and he looked heavy and sated. He could not move from the table immediately and Yuki has entered the living room and was watching cable. He put the dishes in the sink and mentally reminded himself to take care of it if he did not feel too heavy anymore.

"Yuki?"

Yuki merely gave him a glance and returned to watching a talk show. He stretched his arms on the long sofa and took a drag from his cigarette. Shuichi sat beside him and grabbed a throw pillow and stretched his legs to accommodate his full stomach. He burped again which earned a frown from Yuki and Shuichi grinned.

A few minutes later both of them are engrossed on the program. Shuichi is leaning on Yuki's shoulder while his fingers fiddled with Shuichi's pink locks.

"Ne, Yuki?"

"What?"

"I'll be packing my bags."

"Yeah?"

Shuichi nodded and stood up and entered the bedroom and pulled out a wheeled suitcase from the closet.

Yuki was now staring blankly at the screen. All of a sudden what seemed so interesting onscreen a while ago appeared mindless to him now. He felt an impending anxiety building up inside him. He turned the television off and took one more drag with his cigarette before squishing it into the ashtray. He did not want to enter the room. Instead entered his office and stared at the bookshelves. He did not feel like writing and he did not feel like talking either. He dreaded to see Shuichi packing his suitcase.

In all his experience with hectic touring schedules, Shuichi has mastered the art of packing. He remembered the time he first moved in with Yuki where he just hauled everything he owned in a large blanket. He could not help smile as he recalled the time. Yuki so annoyed and forcing him out of the door and there he was persistent and teary-eyed forcing himself inside the unit. This time it was different,

By the time he got out of the bedroom, he noticed Yuki was no longer in the living room. The door to his office was closed and he assumed he was inside. He walked to the kitchen and began to wash the dishes in the sink. After his chore he opened the fridge and took two cans of strawberry iced tea and left the kitchen.

He knocked softly at Yuki's office. Yuki was dozing on his seat. His laptop off. His reading glasses on the table beside the ashtray. Few papers on the desk. He settled the can of strawberry iced tea on top of a coaster. He stood behind Yuki's chair and began to massage Yuki's forehead and slowly moving his hands to his shoulders, which elicited a soft moan from the writer. The hands moved upwards to the blonde hair tugging it carefully with his fingers.

"How are you feeling?"

Yuki nodded. His eyes closed.

Shuichi smiled. Yuki was obviously pleased and relaxed. He began to massage his temples.

"I've packed what I needed and I'll be calling the driver to pick them up before I leave." Shuichi momentarily halted massaging Yuki's head and took a sip from his iced tea and took a seat beside him.

Yuki watched him as Shuichi sipped his iced tea and looking down. A million thoughts came rushing to his brain. He remembered the many times Shuichi would whine endlessly whenever he was going off on tour. How he would prattle about his activities in NG. Or lounge at the sofa across this desk and "quietly" read his manga collection. And he remembered propping him on this same desk and kissing him breathless. But time was running out now. It was already late. He didn't want to look at the time but was quite sure it was late. They both shared abnormal waking and sleeping hours. Several hours from now this pink haired boy won't be sitting contentedly beside him enjoying his strawberry iced tea. Several hours from now he would be alone. Several hours from now the condominium would be terribly quiet.

"Yuki?"

"Huh?" Yuki realized he had been staring intently at Shuichi.

"Aren't you going to drink that?" Shuichi pointed at the other can of strawberry iced tea.

"No." He felt he was already drowning with his anxious thoughts. Shuichi grinned and opened the can and gulped the tea.

"Shuichi?"

"Hai?" Shuichi's looks at him as he licks his pink lips reddened and moist from the now empty can of iced tea. Yuki swallowed.

"Let's go to bed."

They did not make love. Yuki merely embraced him from behind. Shuichi was spooned to him and pulled Yuki's hands to his chest so he could kiss them. He tried to turn around to look at Yuki but Yuki held him firmly. He could only feel Yuki's face close to his nape and felt his warm breath, which calmed and saddened him at the same time. Maybe it was better this way for now. Later he can turn around and kiss Yuki's face.

Unbeknownst to Shuichi was Yuki trying to keep his tears at bay. He feared that if he let Shuichi see his face, the tears would really fall and he didn't want to worry him. He just wanted to feel him in his arms. His scent. The touch. Feel his presence but he didn't want to see his face tonight. He did not want to remember his cute face staring back at him. Even if it was dark in the room he could still see Shuichi. He did not want that now. _I just want to hold you._

**THE NEXT DAY…**

10:00 a.m.

Yuki woke up ahead. The first thing he noticed was the suitcase inside the closet when he pulled out a sweatshirt from the hanger. A few more hours to go and he decided he would go out for a while.

Shuichi woke up much later to find no one beside him. He moved out of the bed and took a quick shower. He noticed a note on the fridge from Yuki.

"_BE BACK LATER."_

Shuichi shrugged and cooked some instant ramen. He made some calls at NG confirming his departure. He called Hiro who was busy packing. He called Suguru but was told by his personal assistant that he wasn't home at the moment. Mr. K called him at home and reminded him that they will all meet at the NG before going to the airport. Sakano reminded him to be a little earlier since they will be expecting some press on the way. Shuichi wanted to chat with Ryuichi after talking with Sakano but he realized his idol was not in Japan at the time since he was filming a series of short films in France. He smiled at the thought. His idol was definitely an all-around entertainer and a true artist. Ryuichi has returned to his solo career and would only reunite with Nittle Grasper for charity functions or annual world music festivals. Touma was balancing work and home life since he and Mika had their children, a boy and a girl. They recently appeared in the Japanese Home Life magazine cover last week. A happy and gorgeous couple with equally adorable children. Touma and Mika clearly adored their children, The 4-year-old boy who inherited his mother's eyes is named Junno and the little girl aged two who is her father's female version is named Hoshi. Hoshi would usually be on Touma's shoulders playing with his hair or asleep in his arms sucking on her thumb. In order to be near with their children they had a large playroom furnished in the building, which also functioned like a daycare facility for the other children of the employees of NG. Ukai Noriko is managing a rock band all the way from Hokkaido. She and her businessman husband settled in Osaka and she put up a recording studio at their home. Their daughter is now in a prestigious junior high school.

Shuichi entered the bedroom and checked his small blue backpack when he heard the doorbell and he sprinted to the living room. Yuki murmured, "Tadaima" and took off his shoes.

'OKAERI, YUKI!" Shuichi gave him a big smile and a hug. His arms were still around Yuki's waist as he asked, "Where did you go, Yuki? I made ramen. Do you want some? I can get it for you."

"Get it ready then." Yuki was not particularly hungry. He just needed Shuichi to leave him for a while as he entered the room and carefully pulled out a small package from his coat pocket.

**my heartfelt thanks to my wonderful reviewers...**

**nefertari-nz: thank you so much for reading...and thank you that you look forward to read more and here it is an update..**

**animelover231: thank you! oh yeah, i am keeping it going!**

**monkey-fairy: my first reviewer. my hugs to you. and thank you so much for reading my stories...i think you're awesome too.**


	3. Please Don't Go

**DAY OF DEPARTURE… **

Yuki opened his eyes to find a fluff of pink hair prickling his chin. Shuichi's head was on his chest and snoring lightly. He took a quick glance at the bedside table and it was just 4:30 a.m. The driver would pick up the luggage at 8:00 a.m. This meant he still had three hours and thirty minutes of quality time. He felt the younger man move and he felt a drool on his shirt. He felt him grip his shoulders and has moved his entire body conveniently on top of him this time and rubbed his nose on his neck and continued snoring. Yuki's body turned rigid. Only then he tried to wiggle his fingers and move his arms on Shuichi's back. He was relieved he could still move his left arm after he has used his arm as a pillow. If there was one of the things he loved about waking up was the scent of Shuichi. It was a mix of strawberry and baby powder. He embraced him and closed his eyes inhaling his scent. Shuichi moved again and slid away from his chest and lay on his back with one arm outstretched towards the edge of the bed while his other hand on Yuki's chest.

Yuki watched the up and down motions of Shuichi's chest and traced the contours of his face from his smooth forehead to his nose to his plush pink lips and his baby-smooth cheeks. _Gods! He was going to miss this…he was going to miss the idiot!  
_

"Shuichi…" he whispered to the sleeping figure. He pulled him closer and kissed his lips and his neck and shoulders. A soft moan followed and Shuichi smiling at him with his eyes squinted.

"Yuki, ohayo." He yawned and touched Yuki's face. Yuki did not respond instead kissed him more earnestly. He raked his fingers in Yuki's hair. Yuki was kissing him breathless and planted more earnest kisses in his neck and at that moment Shuichi wished there would be a mark or two, he did not care. He would look at the mirror and smile knowing they were "Yuki's love bites".

Yuki stopped kissing him and instead pulled him closer and made him lie on his chest again. He just held him. Shuichi closed his eyes and inhaled his scent. Silence pervaded the room. He could hear Yuki's heartbeat. It was comforting and at the same time sad because he knew he wouldn't be able to listen to this in the time he leaves. He presses his nose on his chest.

"I don't wanna go." He mumbled on Yuki's chest.

"What did you say?" Yuki frowned.

"I said I don't wanna go. I wanna stay here with you." Shuichi laid pressed his cheek on Yuki's chest.

"You know for a fact that's not possible now." Yuki turned his head to the bedside table.

"I know." He pouted.

"And?" Yuki quirked an eyebrow.

"Nothing." Shuichi was fighting the sting in his eyes. This was exactly the scenario he wished they would be in on their anniversary day but he can't allow himself to despair over that. He has forgiven him and that's that. No need to remind him about it.

"I wish you wouldn't go too." Yuki replied softly and gods! He meant that so much, it hurt.

Shuichi raised his head and moved to straddle Yuki. He smiled so warmly that Yuki felt his heart leap. He lowered his head and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"You have no idea how happy you made me today." He murmured on Yuki's lips and trailed butterfly kisses from the lips to his feet then he began to slowly move away from the bed. The departure was inevitable. No way they were going to make any last minute changes. It did not seem necessary anymore. They both felt comforted and assured that the other was definitely going to be there waiting no matter where they were. Shuichi smiled just before he entered the shower room. At least he had this sweet memory to take with him on his trip. This is what matters. The now. Not the past. Yuki lingered on the bed a little more. He put his forearm over his eyes. He wished he could take him out. He wished they could have breakfast at the pastry and restaurant across the street that Shuichi loved then they could go on a trip anywhere Shuichi wished then they would have a picnic lunch at a park then drive off to a classy restaurant for dinner then go home and make love like there was no tomorrow. He bit his lower lip. None of this was going to happen of course. He dragged himself from the bed.

He changed into a short-sleeved cream polo shirt and did not bother to button himself. He entered the kitchen and made coffee for himself and hot chocolate milk for Shuichi. He took a box of cereal from the cupboard, which was Shuichi's favorite. He waited for the singer to come out.

Shuichi came out in a while and was already dressed in a blue jacket, faded yellow shirt and black pants. His hair was still damp. He was pulling his suitcase behind him.

"Let's have breakfast." Yuki looked at him and literally avoiding the suitcase.

Breakfast was a quiet one. It felt like they were consciously avoiding to make any more attempts at making the moment any harder than it already is. Other people would have chatted endlessly but it was different for them. Yuki did not want to push it. Shuichi did not want to feel uneasy.

Then they heard a buzz. Yuki stood up to check who it was. It was the limo driver from NG. Yuki looked at his watch. 8:00 a.m. He told the driver to wait in the car for 15 minutes. He informed Shuichi and he nodded. "Wait."

Shuichi looked at him and sat on the sofa. Yuki quickly changed his clothes and grabbed a coat and patted its right pocket. He did not bother to comb his hair anymore.

"Ready?" Yuki came out of the bedroom.

Shuichi smiled and nodded and walked towards him and fixed Yuki's collar and kissed him.

As soon as they stepped out of their home Shuichi's personal assistant, Jin Kamenashi, immediately greeted them. A tall driver smiled and opened the door for the couple. They were not alone of course. With Shuichi's celebrity status he could not travel alone as much as he used to. Security has become a common presence though he found it quite unusual at first but he was getting used to it since he never treated them as mere bodyguards but friends. These men were willing to take the fall for him at any given moment. They were very loyal. They have become friends.

Jin Kamenashi filled him on the activities Shuichi was to expect as soon as they arrived the airport. The press would meet them and he will be answering a few of their questions. Throngs of fans and well wishers would also be present. Security has been briefed on the upcoming scenario. "Mr. K is already at the airport to meet us as well as Sakano-san, Nagano-san and Suguru-san." 

"Okay. Now you take it easy Jin-kun. It's gonna be alright." Shuichi assured him.

"Hai. Airplanes just make me nervous though. But it's all right." Jin smiled at his boss.

Shuichi leaned on Yuki's shoulder during the entire trip to the airport.

**AIRPORT.**

Everything happened as expected. They attended a very brief press conference. Hiro was dressed in a red silk shirt with a white furry coat and black pants. Fujisaki was wearing a beret cap and dark glasses. He had a fitting black shirt and white slacks. His dark hair had streaks of blue highlights and blue tips. Mr. K was having a conversation with Sakano not far from the conference.

Afterwards they took a short break. Hiro and K smoking at the lounge area. Sakano on the phone. Fujisaki on the phone with his girlfriend while Shuichi is seated beside Yuki. The couple was quiet. Shuichi has his legs stretched over Yuki's lap and Yuki's hand on them while the other hand was touching his face.

"I have something for you." Shuichi mused and pulled out a card and handed it to him.

"What's this?"

"Open it when I leave."

"All right, gang! Let's get ready!" K announced. Fujisaki flipped shut his cellphone and nodded. Hiro smiled as he turned to look at Shuichi and Yuki. They stood up from their seat.

"Well, I guess it's goodbye, Yuki. You take care of yourself, okay and try to get some rest." Shuichi wanted to berate himself. Goodbyes are hard as it is and he felt so dumb that these were the best words he could come up with.

"You be careful out there." It would be several months before he would have his pink-haired lover in his arms again and Yuki wanted to berate himself for the words he just said.

"The coat really looks good on you." Shuichi smiled as he smoothed his hand on his chest to feel the material. _Gods! Hell! My Yuki looks so damn hot with anything. Oh god, I'm gonna miss him…shit! This is so hard._

"I love it." Yuki shoved his hand inside his pocket and pulled out a small pink package.

"What is it?" Shuichi's eyes rounded.

"Open it when you get into the airplane."

"But Yu…"

Yuki kissed him deeply. He enveloped the younger man in his arms and almost lifted him from the floor. Shuichi clutched on to him and holding onto the package tightly.

"I'm missing you already." Yuki murmured to his ear before they released and the younger man bit his lip.

In a few moments he stood alone in the lounge watching his lover waving goodbye at him.

They boarded their private plane Pink. As soon as they were seated, Shuichi carefully unwrapped the package.

Inside contained a small book entitled, "Memoirs" and on the first page Yuki wrote,

_Shu-chan,_

_I hope you like this thing. This is a compilation of my poems. They are special to me and I do not intend to get them published as I dedicate this to one person only and this is you. Happy Anniversary!_

_Yuki_

Droplets of tears ran from Shuichi's blushing cheeks. He hugged the book to his chest like it was a baby and leaned on to the window to watch the specks of light as their plane took off.

Yuki did not leave the airport until he saw the Pink was just a speck of light in the sky. He returned to his car and sped off. He did not want to go home yet. Gods! He was already getting anxious all of a sudden. He drove towards the park they first met and located a bench where he could just hang out for a while.

It was a good thing there weren't much people on that particular area of the park. He pulled out the card Shuichi gave him.

_Love,_

_Sometimes I don't know where I stand with you. When you touch me. When I feel you inside me, I feel strong and so loved. Even a gentle smile and even a look is enough to calm me down and erase all my doubts in my mind. But it's at situations like these I begin to doubt where we're headed to. God knows I don't want you to change although I want to change for you. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to go on and never ponder. But many times I feel lost and alone._

_I've always had my music. I used to think it was enough but music can't love me back. It can't hold me close. Music is selfless and selfish and belongs to no one._

_Then I look at you, how were are and there is not a day that goes by that I pray we'd always be together and that all the insecurities I have will just die._

_I love you. I know you hear that all the time yet I wonder if you listen whenever I say that. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I've never given myself to you. I don't ask much. I don't want to expect. I don't want to assume too much. I don't want to feel special in your eyes. I just want to know that you care and that somehow I matter._

_Shuichi_

Yuki closed the card and felt a unstoppable tears rolling down his cheeks. They never really got down to talking about that incident when he forgot about their anniversary. All the things Shuichi wanted to say were in the card. Why did he forget? Of all days, WHY? If he could turn back time, he would. Mark his damn calendar. Make alarms all over the house.

_No shit, Yuki….if you really remembered you don't have to go through all that. It's already in your head._

_Gods! This is already hell on earth!_

**Replies! Replies! Replies!**

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**THANK YOU GUYS! AND TO ALL THOSE WHO CHECKED OUT THIS STORY! THE HITS ARE AMAZING! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! **


	4. I Just Missed You

"BUT YUKI!" The very agitated-looking blazing pink-haired Shuichi whined again for what seemed to be the nth time in a row. He was hunched on the large bed of his hotel suite. Yuki had stopped to count.

"I said NO! I have this draft to work on and there's no way I'm leaving." Yuki massaged his temples.

"Couldn't you take even just a little teensy-weensy breaky please?" Shuichi's voice was getting whinier by the second. He sounded very desperate.

"NO!" _Gods! The brat loved pushing his cards._

"But Yuki!" Shuichi punched the pillow.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself, huh? And stop with this 'But Yuki!' It's not working!"

"But I really miss you!" Shuichi was biting on the pillow.

"If you miss me that much then why don't you come here instead?" Yuki smirked. He liked egging the brat.

"I tried but K wouldn't let me. Sakano fainted when I suggested. Hiro wouldn't cover for me. Fujisaki said I was such a drama queen. Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Shuichi whined and Yuki had to put the phone away from his ear.

"Are you a prisoner?" Yuki fiddled with a throw pillow.

"Well not really. But hey! I even used that word, 'prisoner' but it didn't work. Besides the tour isn't over yet and we still have a series of guest appearances at the TV and radio stations here.

"Hmmmm…"

"Yuki…?"

"What?"

"I really miss you."

"So we're back to zero."

"Yeah." Shuichi smiled.

"Yuki?"

"Did you call at such an unholy hour to annoy the hell out of me?" Yuki frowned.

"YES!" Shuichi squealed.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Very much."

"Don't you ever sleep?"

"You know I do. Are you getting any sleep, Yuki?" Shuichi's hyper mood quickly switched to that of concern.

"Strange question." Yuki smirked.

"YUKI! YOU NEED SLEEP!"

"With your help, I'm sure."

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKIIIIIIIIIII!"

"What again?"

"I really, really terribly miss you. I want you here. I want to hold you. Kiss you. Sniff you. Mess your hair. Bathe with you. Eat with you. Cuddle. Play with you. I wanna sing to you."

"If you haven't noticed, you already do a lot of singing on the phone already."

"Yeah, I know but it's different in person."

"Why are you this whiny?"

"I'm not whiny. I just miss you. I want to hold you. Hug you. Make love….." Shuichi's eyes turned glassy.

"If you wanted to do all that then why don't you ask your damn GROUPIES!"

Silence.

_Shit! What the fuck? Where the heck did that come from? _Yuki panicked. His heart was beating so fast. He suddenly felt lightheaded. On the other end of the line, Shuichi nearly dropped the phone. They were both stunned but Yuki felt terrible. He gulped. He wanted to knock the phone on his forehead repeatedly. He wanted to take it all back. _Shit! _Now the urge to grab his keys and catch the earliest flight to see Shuichi was overwhelmingly intense now.

"Yuki….anou….?" A small voice broke his panic.

"Shuichi?"

"Anou….uhm….it's really late and all and uhm…..ahahaha! I forgot we have an early day tomorrow. K will kill me for being late…..you know how he is." Shuichi tried to sound chirpy but the tremor in his voice was clear.

"Shuichi…"

"Goodnight, Yuki! I think I'll be sleeping now. You should do the same." Shuichi's voice broke.

"SHUICHI!"

_Click. End Call._

Yuki's mouth hung, he was about to say something more but Shuichi already ended the call. He carefully returned the phone to its place.

Shuichi's finger was still pressed at the plunger. Tears were flowing unstoppably. He wiped them off childishly with his forearm and stared at the wall. He sniffed. He returned the phone back. He stood up and grabbed his coat and sneakers. Then walked out of the hotel suite.

It was at this moment Yuki dialed but Shuichi's phone just kept ringing.

As Shuichi walked along the hallway of the hotel suite, a tall dark-haired man approached him from behind.

"Shindou-sama?" He asked gently.

"Aah! Hiroki-san!" Shuichi smiled at him as the tall personal bodyguard approached him.

"Will you be leaving the hotel, sir?"

"I don't know. I guess not." He shrugged. "I just need some fresh air. It's okay. I'll be alright." He waved at him.

"No, sir. I am assigned on this shift and escort you to wherever you would like to go." Hiroki's voice was determined.

"I understand. I don't feel like getting mobbed tonight. Hehehe…" Shuichi chuckled but Hiroki noticed that his eyes were sad. _His eyes seem a bit puffy. _Hiroki gave a small smile in understanding.

"Ne, Hiroki-san….you don't mind having a drink with me then?"

Hiroki was taken aback by the invitation. There really wasn't anything unusual going with Shuichi to a bar and watch him from afar. But being invited for a drink personally was out of the ordinary.

"Anou…."

"Don't be shy. I would like to hang out with you. What do you say?" Shuichi gave him a playful punch on the arm.

"Thank you so much, sir." Hiroki nodded.

"I want to check out the bar here anyways."

Hiroki watched with concern at the number of beer bottles almost filling their table. He was still holding on to his second bottle. Shuichi was unusually quiet and only nodding his head to the piano playing.

"You're very kind, sir."

"What?"

"I said you're very kind, sir."

Shuichi took another swig with his beer and scoffed. "No. I'm not. I'm a whiny selfish spoilt brat if you must know." He pointed.

"I beg to disagree, sir." Hiroki looked down.

"Whatever." Shuichi shakes his head and downs his beer.

"I'm not saying this because you're my boss, sir. But I've always observed how you are onstage and offstage. You always tried to make everyone feel at ease even if you were tired. You always made sure everyone had a good time. You tried to be independent even if you had people to do things for you. You never treated anyone differently."

Shuichi looked at him with glazed amethyst eyes and smiled. Hiroki felt his cheeks warm. _Kami-sama! He's so beautiful. Drunk as he is by now, his looks are indeed intoxicating._ By the next moment, Shuichi's face dropped on the table. The taller man moved and carried him back to his suite. As they entered, he carried him to the bed. He took off Shuichi's jacket and sweater. The young man moaned.

"Yuki…."

Hiroki smiled, shook his head gently and tucked the beautiful man into bed and turned off the lights then slowly closed the door behind him.

_**WORDS FROM THE KITTY: Sorry this took so long, guys. But now that I have my own PC at home with internet, you can all expect more updates.**_

**_bewaardervanschaduw: thank you so much for your review. I am extremely touched that you found this fic beautiful. You are beautiful as well. I am humbled that this has affected you in some way emotionally. _**

_**Monkey-fairy: ohohohoho! Chap 3 was your favorite chapter? What do you think of chap 4 now? hugs thank you so much.**_

_**Akea: oh! No problem! I'm glad you found this story of mine. This update is for you.**_

_**Nefertari-nz: oh yes, there is definitely more to come to this fic. I hope this will suffice for now. Thank you so much for reading! Yay!**_

**_Siriusly delusional: oh yes, yuki is a bit ooc and yes in this fic he has definitely mellowed. Besides Yuki is really a sweet man by nature. The old icy façade just pop up every now and then. Here's the update!_**


	5. Tatsuha Saves

"SO WHAT HAPPENED, ANIKI?" Tatsuha stared at his brother earnestly waiting for a response. It was summer break and he thought of dropping by at his brother's place while in Tokyo.

"This has nothing to do with you." Yuki rolled his eyes for the nth time in a row. He wanted to smack himself again for letting his hyperactive brother inside his house. Though his pink-haired lover was just as nosey but at least he would automatically shut up when Yuki asked him. Tatsuha refused to take a hint even if he was threatened to do so.

"Of course it doesn't but you're my brother so technically I'm affected by degree of blood." Tatsuha gestured dramatically. He had a sixth sense that his brother's sullen mood had to do with Shuichi but he wanted to be sure.

"That's dumb." Yuki frowned.

"Whatever." Tatsuha rolled his eyes.

"Why are you here anyway? Why shouldn't you be at Mika's place for a change? You have been given by her an apartment for you to stay whenever you're in Tokyo but still YOU CRASH AT MY PLACE! You consume my beer supply. You swipe my cigarettes. Abuse my internet. Watch your Nittle Grasper on my TV. You eat my food and when I'm not around, manage to molest Shuichi." Yuki impatiently pulled a cigarette from a pack and lit up.

"AHA! Correction!" Tatsuha raised his finger for emphasis. "I do not molest YOUR Shuichi anymore."

"Whatever. You're still all of the above."

"Awwww….my aniki misses me!" Tatsuha squeals.

"Shut up!" Yuki gives him a very annoyed look.

"C'mon, man. It's summer break. I'm not in teacher mode. What could be better than spending some quality time with my only brother in the whole wide world?"

"Aren't you supposed to be harassing that rabbit-crazed boyfriend of yours?"

"I know. I know." Tatsuha pouts.

"And?"

"He's in England for a music video shoot. He'll be back on Friday." Tatsuha sighs. _Gods! He how he missed his Ryu-chan. _

"That's only two days from now, you idiot! You sound like he would be back at the turn of the century." Yuki stares at him incredulously.

"I know but I terribly miss him. We were on the phone last night and wow! I really love him. It's scary." He grins.

"In your case, SCARY is an UNDERSTATEMENT." Yuki takes a puff but looks away. Tatsuha observes his brother's eyes go from boredom to instant longing. He moves closer to the couch to sit beside him.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up."

"No can do." Tatsuha shakes his head as if to punctuate each word of his statement.

"What's with you and Mika invading my house and hovering over me like some fuckin' hen?"

"Aha! Correction. Mika does the hovering. I crash. So what's up, aniki?"

"None of your goddamn business!"

"Ewww! Such language towards a holy Buddhist monk!" Tatsuha covers his ears in mock offense.

"HOLY? Don't make me laugh." Yuki snorts.

"If I can make you laugh to erase the glum in your eyes. I'd do it all the time, aniki." Tatsuha's voice suddenly serious. Yuki inhales and blows a smoke. Together they shared a moment of silence.

"Something happened." Yuki takes another drag from his cigarette.

"How you two manage to get into a fight even on long distance still amazes me till this day. So Shuichi was being a brat and you were being an ass as usual?"

Yuki looks at him sharply. "Watch your mouth."

"Tell me something I don't know." Tatsuha makes a lame attempt with puppy dog eyes.

"Shit! Stop that!"

"Stop what?" Tatsuha feigned ignorance.

"That 'thing' you do with your eyes. You look retarded."

"Okay. So what really happened, man?" He pokes the blonde's shoulder.

"I said something out of line."

"What was it?"

"He was whining about missing me and all and wanting me to just go there and visit him. Then I suggested if he really wanted to do all that stuff why doesn't he just ask his groupies.

Yuki was visibly annoyed with the last word, squished the cigarette into the ashtray and walked to the kitchen. Tatsuha remained on his seat and frowned at the ashtray. He clenched his teeth. He had a good mind to squish the cigarette on his brother's mouth instead. Yuki returned to the couch with two beers and placed the other on the coffee table for Tatsuha. Tatsuha's eyes shifted from the ashtray to the ice cold drink. He took the can and placed it on his forehead hoping its coolness would somehow douse the rising annoyance he had with the blonde seated beside him.

For lack of a better word, Yuki looked at his dark-haired mirror-image and said, "I know what you're thinking." Tatsuha sneered and opened the beer can and took a big gulp.

"That is just about the most stupid thing I have ever heard coming from a brilliant romance novelist such as you."

"Since when did you become the romance authority here?"

"Don't ask me, bro. That's supposed to be your job."

"Well, what would you have done then?" Yuki arched an eyebrow.

"In a relationship there is what we call give and take. Regardless of the situation we're in, nothing excuses you from it." Tatsuha sounded matter-of-factly.

"What? You expect me to just pack up and go there?"

"You're not doing anything really special, are you?"

"I'm working on the draft for my next novel."

"What's a day to see him, bro? You sure look like you need a little break yourself. Okay, if that's too much for you, how about half a day? Man! The guy has been away for four months straight and knowing him he never hesitated to fly wherever you are anytime you needed him."

Tatsuha stood up.

"You ask me why Ryu-chan and I are like this? It's because we learned to give and take. This is different from sacrifice. I'm not taking sides here. I know for a fact Shu-chan can be such a brat. But there are certain situations that do not qualify that description anymore…..unless of course…" Tatsuha trailed off.

"What?" Yuki interjected. He didn't like how that sounded.

"Unless of course…you don't want to see him in the first place. That's something else." Tatsuha shrugs and drank some more beer. Yuki reflected on his brother's words as he watched him stand up and walked to the kitchen. He remembered Tatsuha's love for Sakuma has passed the fanboy stage a long time ago. The couple had their share of challenges in their relationship. Sakuma's celebrity status and Tatsuha's teaching career in Kyoto. Yet crazy as their personalities could be, they never held back when one of them needed the other's presence badly. He also recalled Sakuma's intense look the time when he confirmed the rumors of his relationship with Tatsuha. When confronted the jpop god simply replied, "He sees me like no one can."

One could say that these two might have it easier than him and Shuichi knowing Tatsuha was already "Sakuma-tized" when he was six years old. The gifted vocalist was a special guest at a children's television program. He wore a pink bunny suit. Everyone in the family thought the young Tatsuha was absolutely smitten by the pink rabbit with squeaky voce and infectious laughter. None of them were prepared when he announced at the dinner table, "SAKUMA-SAN WILL BE MINE SOMEDAY!" Mother sweatdropped. Mika chuckled with a glint of naughtiness in her eyes. Father burst out laughing. He stared incredulously at his younger brother who had a very confident smirk as he shoved his grilled tofu to his mouth. He was totally undisturbed of everyone's reaction.

Yes, those were the days. Their father was actually the jolly fun-loving type until everything spiraled down at breakneck speed at the sudden death of their beautiful mother, Yukina. It was on the summer only a week after Tatsuha's sixth birthday, she suffered a violent head-on collision while driving towards home. Since then their father devoted his time and energy to the temple, desperately seeking a way to detach himself from the tragic loss. Mika took it upon herself to keep the family together. Tatsuha would wake up screaming and crying for their mother. Yuki's bed eventually was cramped with Tatsuha and a stuffed pink rabbit till the cries stopped. He reflected how such a loss made a 360-degree turn in their lives. Their parents were intensely devoted to each other and adored their three children immensely. Too much love. Too much pain. Too much, too soon. He didn't want to go through that again. Never, ever.

"You're miles away, aniki."

"Huh?"

"You keep up with that, you're going to make a neat hole on your carpet, y'know."

"Ah shit!" Only then did he realize a nasty cigarette burn on the plush carpet. He quickly picked up the cigarette and squished it on the ashtray.

"You watch the house while I'm away." He stood up.

"Where are you going, aniki?" Tatusha grinned as if he didn't know the answer.

"Shuichi."

"Don't forget my presents when you return, aniki." Tatsuha grins.

"Don't push it, idiot! I already leave the house to you till I get back. Cut it out! What are you, three?"

"It was just a suggestion, hehehe…" The younger Uesugi loved to tease his brother. He couldn't help pushing his luck. It wasn't his fault either if he had a wealthy brother like Yuki. Just as Yuki held the doorknob to his bedroom, he looked at Tatsuha who was now carefully opening a Nittle Grasper DVD box then turning on the player.

"Tatsuha?"

"Hmmmm?"

Golden eyes met with smoldering dark eyes and with quiet understanding to which Tatsuha replied, "What are brothers for?" And Yuki smiled gratefully.

_**WORDS FROM THE KITTY: Ureshii! My pc has been exorcised of its ghosts and now I am able to update this story. **_

_**ColeridgeFan: Thank you so much for your review. I hope this update makes you happy!**_

_**Patpat: Ooooooooooh! Thank you so much! I am so humbled you would add this to your fave list. **_

_**Monkey-fairy: Yeah, Yuki was really harsh but he's really a softie deep inside. I swear he can be such a fart sometimes but we love Yuki! Heheheh…**_

**_AyameInLove: waves back furiously thank you so much! I hope this update makes you happy. Oooh! Good question you got here…Shuichi wasn't exactly cheating on Yuki. We must understand that his friendship with Hiro is very special. It's a very close relationship and I love to speculate on the possibility that they had a "past." Shuichi and Hiro would make the perfect couple but then Yuki is Shuichi's true love and Hiro knows this. Shuichi doesn't feel bad because there really is no cheating going on here. He's lonely and hurt and at times like these, who do you go to but your best friend?_**

_**Hokage: I assure you, Shu-chan will never stop loving his Eiri. Thanks so much for reading.**_

_**Rebelyell59: oh thank you! Thank you so much! blushes**_

_**Yuki-mizu: ahahahahah! giggles**_

_**Measha: thank so very much for being a beautiful reader as well. Nope! I haven't bagged this fic yet. We still have more updates to look forward to. **_


	6. Oh God, Please No!

_**BEDROOM**_

Yuki is jolted out of bed from continuous pounding and kicks from his door. The first thing he thought was fire. _Shuichi must have blown up something in the kitchen again but why no smoke alarm? Shit! Shuichi isn't here._

"ANIKI!"

_Oh yeah. Not my idiot. It's my idiot brother. _He rolled his eyes.

"OPEN THE DOOR QUICKLY!" Tatsuha was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Hai. Hai. I heard you. This better be good or I'm throwing you out." Yuki dragged himself to the door only to come face to face with the look of absolute terror and concern. _What could have caused this_, he wondered.

"IS IT RYUICHI?" Yuki frowned at him. It was only the image of the Nittle Grasper frontman that clicked in his mind looking at the terror-stricken face of his brother. But Tatsuha shook his head and pulled his brother's hand and walked towards the living room. He pointed at the TV screen. Tatsuha crossed his arms to his chest. His worried eyes moved from the screen to Yuki. He was ready for anything now. Yuki's golden eyes were unreadable. He frowned but his lips quivered as he tried to understand the remainder of what the female news reporter was saying.

"…..Shindou-san has been immediately taken to the Fujiwara Medical Center for care. The attacker has been taken into custody by the local authorities. Bad Luck manager, Mr. K has declined to comment on the matter. Security has been heightened for the Bad Luck members. More updates will follow an hour from now. Please stay tuned."

The brothers awoke from their stupor when the telephone rang. Tatsuha immediately grabbed the phone.

"Hai." Tatsuha's voice was curt.

"Eiri-san?" A filtered voice came through.

"It's Tatsuha." He snapped.

"This is Tohma." With the way the younger Uesugi answered the phone, it was obvious that they have already watched the news. "Ah, Seguchi-san. Aniki is here but he just entered the room. What's going on, Seguchi-san?"

"Tell Eiri that Shuichi is currently undergoing surgery for his injuries. He's still under observation. Look, it's a very tense situation here as well. I'm worried how Eiri is taking this. I will contact you for any developments. Rest assured he'll make it. Shindou-san did not lose consciousness on the way to the hospital. He was in shock but he'll be fine."

"I don't think aniki can just stay here and…" But before Tatsuha could finish his sentence, Yuki has grabbed the phone.

"SEGUCHI!" Yuki's voice snapped. He has not recovered yet from the news flash and hearing his brother-in-law on the other line made him more anxious.

"Eiri-san, we have the situation under control and I need you to just…" Tatsuha sounded more pleading than comforting. He had an idea how Yuki would react to this and he was most concerned that the novelist would not do anything drastic.

"What room is he in?" He demanded.

"Eiri-san, I really don't think it's a good idea to…."

"Tell me what room he is or I will hang up now and locate it myself!" Yuki was very determined.

"I'm just worried about you." Tohma resigned.

"Room number, Seguchi." Yuki sounded very impatient now.

"It's 303. We've arranged a hospital suite for him. But right now he's still undergoing surgery for his injuries." Tohma's voice was laden with defeat and concern.

"Okay." Yuki's anxiety hitched.

"Wait! I can arrange my private helicopter to take you here."

"Thanks."

"I do my best. Shuichi will be fine. Just…well, don't worry so much. I am also concerned for you."

"I know. I have to go."

"Okay. Goodbye, Eiri…and take care." As soon as the call ended with Yuki, Tohma dials his private secretary and instructs her to contact NG Lines to get the helicopter ready to pick up Yuki.

He had to assure the brothers that Shindou-san was going to be alright even if he was just as tense as everyone in the waiting lobby. He had excused himself to look for a corner so he could talk to Eiri. Everyone in the lobby looked very anxious and hopeful. Hiro kept pacing and cursing. Fujisaki was sitting on a couch with his fingers clasped like in prayer and closed his eyes. His clasped hands pressed to the bridge of his nose. It was a striking resemblance with the way their family reacted to stress. He remembered looking like that when Yuki was admitted to a hospital when he vomited blood and he blamed himself for it. _How could this have happened?_

As soon as Yuki put the phone down, Tatsuha throws him a coat.

"What do you think you're doing?" Yuki looked at him confused.

"I'm driving us to the chopper. Don't argue." Tatsuha frowned. His older brother obviously was in no condition to drive. As far as the younger Uesugi was concerned, Yuki was looking like a total wreck by the second. A car accident was a very close possibility if he just let Yuki have his way.

"What do you mean us?" Yuki did not want to drag Tatsuha with him despite Tatsuha's obvious determination to do so but at the same time he didn't want to be alone. He was having a hopeless battle with his active imagination on how Shuichi must look at this moment, lying on an operating table, scared, shock, in pain, sedated.

"Your wallet, cellphone and keys to this house are in your pocket. Do you want me to pack your laptop?" Tatsuha ignored his question and was about to enter the study. Yuki shook his head. He didn't need it. Everything else could wait. What matters most right now is Shuichi.

"Ready?" Tatsuha eyed him and pulled on his backpack. Yuki nodded and they exited the penthouse together.

Throughout the entirety of the trip from the car ride to being escorted to the helipad and finally the helicopter that would take them to Shuichi's hospital, the brothers remained quiet. Yuki appeared visibly annoyed and gave the pilot a very hard look when he was told not to smoke but chose not to retaliate and tucked his cigarette case in his pocket instead. He was too worried to say anything. Tatsuha kept a close watch at his brother's behavior. He had been tempted to call his lover in Paris regarding Shuichi but decided against it, he wanted to see Shuichi's condition for himself. He was sure Tohma would beat him to it in alerting Ryuichi knowing how much he also cared for Shuichi as a friend. It was such a mean joke what was happening now, he thought. They just had a talk yesterday about Shuichi and Yuki had already decided to visit him then something terrible like this should happen immediately the day after. He hated to contemplate what was going through the blonde's mind at this time. The only thing he could do was put an arm around his brother's shoulder and leaned his head. Yuki covered his face.

_Oh how he craved for a smoke right now but the pilot had been very rigid on that. _Yuki knew for a fact he couldn't blame him. He was just doing his job. He stole a quick glance at Tatsuha who was still leaning on his shoulder with a firm reassuring grip as well but he knew his dark-haired mirror image needed to be consoled as well but he didn't know how. It was touching that Tatsuha was trying to be strong for both of them.

_Kami-sama, please keep Shuichi safe. Please let him survive this. I don't know what's going on from here. I wish we could arrive sooner. I should have packed up and left when he needed me and this attack could have been avoided. What the heck was he doing getting attacked like that? WHO THE HELL ATTACKED HIM? I swear, I'm gonna make the asshole pay! Demmit! Where the hell was K when this happened? I know Shuichi has been assigned bodyguards to protect him. How the hell did this thing happen? ARGH! I seriously need a smoke. Shit. Fuck. I'm going crazy with worry. Dear God, Shuichi…please be safe. Please wait for me. I'm almost there, baby. Please be strong. _

A teardrop slowly slid on Yuki's cheek and he impatiently tried to blink it back but Tatsuha noticed his aniki's defense weakening. The travel was killing him already. It was enough that Yuki had been plagued by guilt for not being there with his pink-haired lover and now Shuichi is lying in some operating room table being opened up. It was a terrible thing to think about especially when you care about the person so much.

He wished Ryuichi would never go through things like that. Mr. K had guarded his precious Nittle Graper genius when he was still their manager. He watched Ryuichi like a hawk. But what could have caused a failure in Shuichi's security? Or did Shuichi slip out of their watchful eyes? He could only wonder what Mr. K could be doing right now. To the world he had a reputation for being a demanding and overly protective manager but to manage such icons like Ryuichi and Shuichi, he was the cream of the crop amongst talent managers. Mr. K had become most sought after by legendary and popular artists as well. Tatsuha knew about Mr. K thru Ryuichi's experience with him. Ryuichi clearly loved K and owed to him for keeping him very secure in his public appearances. So it was very difficult to understand how could there be a break in the chain of security for Bad Luck's Shuichi?

Gods! Now he wanted a smoke as well.

_**WORDS FROM THE KITTY: huggles to all the wonderful readers thanks so much for checking this fic and all the hits and adding it to your fave and alert lists. Thanks so much! Muah! Muah! Muah!**_

_**Monkey fairy: thanks so much for reading and loving the brotherly love here cuz I had so much fun writing them this way. I love them so much. Here's the update!**_

_**Patpat: awww….thanks so much! Worky got in the way and I needed to do some stuff here and there with this story. I hope you like it.**_

_**Yuki Mizu: OMG! You really think so? I think you're amazing too for reading this story of mine. I hope I haven't kept anyone waiting too long.**_

_**Ezzy: thank you so much! I'm so touched. I have lots of love expressing Shuichi's character plus I absolutely adore the Uesugi brothers. I also like to delve on Bad Luck's life offstage.**_

_**AyameInLove: hahah! I'm glad I answered your question. Thank you so much for reading this story. Let's all hope Shuichi will be alright now that Yuki is on the way.**_


	7. I will be here for you

**AUTHOR NOTES: Hello kitties! Yes I am back with the long-awaited update to this story. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. I know I ended the last chapter before this one in cliffhanger. Really sorry for the wait. It's been years, I know. But I haven't forgotten this story. Thank you for patiently waiting. Let the reading begin!**

Though Yuki had been advised of Shuichi's condition, he still braced himself as to what state his lover was inside the hospital suite. The security officer nodded at him as he stood at the door and slowly entered. As the door clicked behind him, he scanned the suite before approaching the bed. There was no oxygen mask attached to Shuichi. No cardiac monitor. No slings. No casts. An IV line was the only thing connected to his lover's smooth arm. _Good. _He breathed a sign of relief because he feared his bouncy lover would be strapped to such equipments. The place was filled with flower, balloons, fruit baskets, snacks, cards, banners, posters and plushies from friends, fans, family and crew.

Shuichi did not notice Yuki enter for he was facing the window. Earphones were attached to his ears as he hummed to a slow rock tune very softly. His upper torso was bandaged along with his arms. The right hand was connected to an IV line while the other was beside a remote control. Only two of his fingers could move to control the small gadget. As not to surprise Shuichi, Yuki slowly walked towards the bed and moved to the direction of his lover's view. As soon as Shuichi saw him, he snapped out of reverie and smiled. At that moment all the emotions the blonde kept at bay from the time he learned of Shuichi's violent attack, a tear escaped from his eye. How could Shuichi manage to smile at him despite the horror he just went through baffled him immensely. He craved so badly to take him in his arms but the bandages and the limited mobility it imposed frustrated both of them. He bent to kiss him tenderly and another tear fell mingling with Shuichi's as he gently removed the earphones. The kiss lasted momentarily but Yuki planted more earnest kisses to his nose, forehead, chin, cheeks carefully avoiding the butterfly sutures secured on his forehead from the lacerations he sustained from the attack.

"Shu.." Yuki murmured.

"You came." Shuichi breathed.

"How are you feeling?" Yuki's eyes roamed at Shuichi's body making sure that only the bandaged areas of his body were affected. He carefully lowered the blanket which revealed the singer wearing only a hospital gown. He pulled a seat closer to the bed and began to massage his legs going to the thighs.

"Don't get any ideas.." Shuichi grinned.

"Baka." Yuki grinned back but switched back to a very concerned look.

"How are you feeling now?" Yuki traced a finger to Shuichi's cheek and pushed away some unruly bangs from his face.

"My arms hurt and my forehead stings. She sat on my stomach too."

Yuki moved his hand on Shuichi's stomach.

"Ummmm…that's nice….OWW!" He winced.

"WHAT?" Yuki's eyes widened and took his hand away quickly.

"There." There was a fading discoloration at the right lower quadrant of his stomach. "I felt her knee digging on this area a lot."

"Can you eat?"

"Of course. The doctor said it's muscle pain, nothing internal."

"Do you want anything?"

"Just you." Yuki smiles and squeezes his thighs.

"We left as soon as we saw the news."

"We?"

"Tatsuha."

"Oh! He's here too?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I should have arrived sooner."

"Don't be sorry, Yuki. It's not your fault."

"I know what I meant was…uhm….on the phone last night….I said about…the….uhm….shit."

"The groupies?"

Yuki looked away.

"I was being a brat, Yuki. It's annoying." Shuichi spoke softly.

"It is annoying but I still should have come sooner then maybe none of this happened." Yuki's eyes looked sad. He sounded more annoyed with himself.

"But you're here now. It's alright."

"I don't know what would happen…if…" Yuki frowned.

"I'll be fine, Yuki."

"This is crazy. I should be the one comforting you not the other way around."

"He-he-he! You look like you need some sleep, love."

"I'll be fine." Yuki squeezed his hand.

**3:00 A.M.**

Yuki wakes up from the bedside chair and notices the television was on on and Shuichi staring at the screen.

"Shuichi?" He rubbed his eyes.

"Hmmm…?"

"Why aren't you sleeping? It's 3 am!"

"Uhmmmm…can't sleep, I guess." Shuichi smiled.

Yuki looks at him closely and observes Shuichi is actually struggling to stay awake.

"What the hell? You look like you're going to pass out. Go to sleep!" He took the remote control and turned the TV off.

"Yuki…(yawn) really I'm…" He squints his eyes.

"Look, I'll call the nurse and ask if she can give you something to help you relax."

"Yuki…don't…please…" Shuichi looked at him pleadingly.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that whenever I close my eyes." Shuichi closed his eyes and felt hot tears stream down his face. "I see her. The madness in her eyes. The anger. Her sadness. Her voice ringing in my ears telling me it's my fault. It's all my fault her daughter died. I'm afraid that if I fall asleep I'll dream of her. But I'm really sleepy, Yuki." His voice was desperate. Shuichi's lips trembled and looked at the blank TV screen. Yuki understood the fear having gone through such harrowing experiences as he did before. But this wasn't fair for Shuichi. He is still recovering from the trauma with Aizawa and now this. All he ever did was doing the one thing that he loved which is music. None of it made any sense. He made a mental note to discuss with Mr. K as to the details of the attack on Shuichi. It angered him that his bouncy lover lies in a hospital bed to suffer for their inadequacies and frustration.

"Shuichi.." He caressed his cheek to face him. "What do you see?"

"I see you."

"When you close your eyes, I'll still be here. When you wake up, I'll be here. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

"Yuki." Shuichi's eyes turned glassy.

"Go to sleep, baby. Don't fight it. You're stronger than this."

"I love you so much, Yuki."

Yuki kissed him tenderly.


End file.
